Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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