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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
