best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
