your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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