And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
