We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
