love makes seman taste better
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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