I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You can't just leave with hair like that
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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