Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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