Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
