I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
