last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
