Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
