If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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