i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
