I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
