We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
