I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
