So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
