i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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