I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
