Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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