I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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