i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
