the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
