She is in my trunk
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
