I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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