boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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