I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
