And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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