but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
