The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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