I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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