What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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