STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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