Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
