and you said cock pushups were impossible
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
