just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
