escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
