ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I would ride that face into the sunset
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
