She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
