I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im holly from the hills drunk
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
