My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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