He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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