im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
