She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
