how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
