I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So many bounce houses so little time
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
