You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
