I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
