I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
