I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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